How to Build a Child's Confidence in Sports

Takeaway: Young athletes are expected to handle a lot, from balancing school, sports, family, friends, and work. This not only takes a toll on their ability to succeed but also their confidence (and overall mental well-being). In this blog, I’ll explain what self-confidence looks like for kids who play sports and how you can help your child gain more confidence on and off the field. 

If you’re reading this, you’re probably the parent of a young athlete or have a child who’s participated in a youth sports program before. 

Youth sports are notorious for putting pressure on kids to perform, which can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout — three things that can cause them to lose their self-esteem or confidence. 

You want your child to be a confident athlete, but you also want to prioritize their mental health in and out of sports. A 2021 Team Player study confirms this, finding that most parents believed that the most important outcome of playing sports is having fun (95%). Increasing physical fitness and supporting a player’s mental health were closely tied at 88% and 89%, respectively. However, less than 55% of parents reported that their kids actually achieved these goals. 

If youth athletes don’t enjoy the sport or feel supported by coaches in their fitness goals, they likely won’t have the confidence they need to maintain a strong sense of self, further reducing their chances of having good mental health. 

It's important to balance encouraging your child to do their best and ensuring they enjoy the game. This means focusing on their overall well-being, providing emotional support, and teaching them that it's okay to make mistakes. 

In this blog, I’ll explain what it means and what it takes to help your child a confident athlete. Let’s start with a brief definition of self-confidence.  

What is Self Confidence?

According to the American Psychological Association, self-confidence is closely linked with self-assurance, the “trust in one’s abilities, capacities, and judgment.” 

For young athletes, it’s about believing in their own sports skills, whether on the field, court, or track. As a parent, it’s crucial to understand that self-confidence helps kids take on challenges, stay motivated, and bounce back from mistakes. Young athletes are more likely to try new things and work hard in practice when they're confident. 

Many young athletes struggle to balance their sports commitments with academics and other activities, which means developing self confidence often gets put on the back burner.

7 Ways to Build a Young Athlete’s Confidence in Sports 

There’s no “I” in team—or is there? When you teach kids to take time to understand how their brain works and why taking care of their mental health is important as athletes, it benefits them and the entire team. A team of many athletes is only as strong as its weakest link, so it’s important to teach kids the value of taking care of their self-esteem and confidence.   

1. Validate Their Experience 

Everyone makes mistakes, but some kids take them to heart more than others. Most athletes get anxious at some point in their sports careers. They may begin to fear failure or lack confidence when it’s time to compete or play a game. 

Validating your child’s experience means acknowledging their feelings and experiences in sports, whether they are positive or negative. You might not always agree or understand their fears, but when you listen to and empathize with their emotions, you help them feel understood and supported. 

Go Ahead, Have the Talk

You can also talk to them about their expectations and fears about playing sports. Some questions you can ask are: 

• What are they already confident in? 

• Are they comparing themselves to other athletes? 

• What happened to cause them to lose confidence in themselves? 

2. Help them Find a Role Model

A role model can help young athletes gain confidence in their own levels of ability and potential. Encourage your child to find role models who display positive attitudes, confidence, and great coaching. People like coaches, older teammates, or other trusted athletes provide a visible and relatable example of success. They show kids that hard work and perseverance can help them accomplish their goals, motivate them to improve, and alleviate the fear of failing in their future athletic careers. 

3. Set SMART Goals 

You know that goal setting encourages young athletes to focus on their athletic performance and helps them (and their coaches) stay motivated. But what are SMART goals? They are:

• Specific

• Measurable

• Achievable

• Relevant

• Time-bound

These goals break down larger ambitions into manageable steps, making it easier for them to see progress and stay motivated.

What's an example of a SMART goal?

I will improve my backstroke by practicing for 30 minutes daily in the pool, aiming to reduce my lap time by 15% over the next two months, and will review my progress every week to stay on track.

4. Encourage Competition and Independence

There’s nothing wrong with healthy competition. It can help youth athletes reduce the anxiety that stops them from having fun during a game and build confidence in their ability to play their sport successfully. It also pushes them to make decisions independently and take responsibility for their actions, something that many young athletes may struggle to do—especially if they’ve never had the chance to be independent before. Their self-assurance skills matter and are crucial to becoming a successful athlete.

5. Maintain Consistency

Young athletes develop physical skills and confidence in their athletic performance by maintaining consistency in support, routines, and expectations. This also helps with building confidence by providing a stable environment for young athletes to create positive experiences and reduce negative thoughts. 

Most of their sports training revolves around learning appropriate skills and techniques specific to their sport, and over the years, this consistency helps them understand what to expect and what is expected of them. When kids know that someone they trust has their back, they can focus on their performance and development without distractions.

6. Recognize Positive Achievements and Effort 

Just like it’s important to make a learning opportunity out of past performances that didn’t go well, it’s equally important to help them recognize their positive achievements and abilities. Athletes who lack confidence may struggle to identify success in training, especially if they don’t view their performance and effort as hard work. When you point out their devotion and dedication to their sport, it helps them recognize what they’re capable of and what they can achieve in the future. 

Also, praising effort rather than just results teaches young athletes that hard work is valuable and leads to success. This, and developing a growth mindset, allows them to see what they can control and know that they can see improvement through dedication and practice. 

7. Stop Saying “I Can’t” 

Try acknowledging your athlete’s strengths and weaknesses. Instead of saying “can’t,” encourage them to replace that word with something more solution-focused. For example, saying, “I’m struggling with hitting the ball,” or “I’m really nervous about competing in the dance competition,” allows them to identify and address the areas where they lack confidence. While it may seem like doing this focuses more on the negative than the positive, it gives a young athlete the space to explore what makes them feel nervous in sports. 

Helping Young Athletes Build Confidence, One Success at a Time 

As a sports psychologist who’s worked with young athletes in various capacities for the past twenty years, I believe that using an evidence-based approach mixed with a little humor can help kids and teens build the confidence they may have lost throughout their years on the field. 

Getting their spark back or creating that confidence for the first time is the key to giving athletes the sense of identity they need to have fun while they play their sport, which can be done through coaching or mental health treatment. The point of therapy (or coaching) isn’t to increase their stress; it’s to help them develop a sense of confidence, reduce their fear of failure, and increase their chances of successful sports performances. 

Sound like something your athlete might benefit from? Reach out to schedule a consult or an appointment!

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